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1/07/2009

Farewell Asha

My younger sister Asha passed away ..... Saturday the 3rd of January a few weeks after her 61 birthday....in San Miguel, Mexico from complications that developed after an operation on a perforated ulcer..she developed septicemia and fluid in her lungs....Asha how can wish you farewell.... ??? In my mind you are still there at the other end of the world....and I am just waiting for another post with our special ending ..love'n' that we used to sign our posts to each other. Without a funeral and "Shiva" it is difficult to come to terms and make a closure. This I hope will help... a sort of virtual "Shiva"

Forgive me for not realizing just how ill you were....I did have a feeling that you were not recuperating from your operation and it was taking too long... wanted to contact you through Skype.... but unfortunately it wasn't possible... I think Irving was probably trying to spare me in this case..... so I didn't have a chance to really tell you how much I care and how much you will be missed.....

We lived in two different worlds... and a whole decade separated us... but we still found ways to communicate and find topics of mutual interest.... mainly our art connection.... through you I tried diddling in digital painting and took two courses with LVS.... it was a great step towards my continuing in the traditional manner with pencil and paints... when you were in a slump I tried to help you, maybe a bit too much, to get your creative juices running... just before your recent illness and operation you had begun a daily drawing sessions.... I hope that your site will continue to stay online.... Inkbridge being one of my favorites... I think because it reminds me of my mothers' paintings.

You were 7-8 when I left to make my new life in Israel.....when you were sixteen or so you visited Israel and spent a year here... even enrolled in Bazalel art school... but your heart was in other places .... and you returned home....
We corresponded sparingly through the years.. but it was really after my visit in 1979 with Naomi then 17 and Yael 12 that we really reconnected... and of course with the internet and e-mail flourished....

In fall 2004 we also visited you in Concord, Ca. where we spent a few days before our cross country trip back to the East... we all met Jill Hamada at the rental agency in Oakland... that was the last time I saw you... see picture from a previous post in 2006

Since that last visit we corresponded almost on a daily basis.. and while you were still in Ca. often had chats with Yahoo messenger... you met Amir ,my grandson though the cam camera.... my morning being your evening and vice versa.... the past 3 years since your move to Mexico didn't allow too many chats because of the timezone .....your dreams of a new life in Mexico were cut short.. but I pray you are in better paradise....

Asha also leaves Irving Kohn her life partner,Mica Dawn Valli her daughter,Larz and Michael her grandsons,Debbie Monosson McGuire her sister.

Farewell Asha

Love n' forever
carol

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi I'm Mica Valli,Asha Develder(Monosson)was my mom,she was my best friend and i miss her so much ,but she has a great life.I still hope that this is a dream but its not.I love you so much and wish you had what it took to make it.

Farewell mom

Emily said...

Carol and Mica, I am so sorry to hear about Asha.

My thoughts are with you,

Emily

Debbie Monosson said...

To family and friends of Asha...my thoughts and condolences are with you...

marjorie short said...

Dear Carol,

I am deeply saddened to hear of the loss of Asha, It's heart breaking and so final and unsettling to mourn properly without others to be with you. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Although I didn't know Asha, I followed her blog and website with her artwork and webcam portrait which ran at least 2 hours/day. She documented her sad life sitting idley by the camera , - a testimony to something unknown to me but obviously important to her.
I hope your good memories of time shared with her will sustain you through this difficult time and again my sincere condolences ,

warmest wishes,
Marjorie Short

Beverly said...

Dear Carol,

My heartfelt condolences to you, your sister, Mica, and the entire family. So hard to lose a loved one living so far away in such a different world and different life. May your memories be a comfort.

Beverly

Joanne said...

Carol,
Carol, my deepest sympathies about the loss of your sister, Asha. It is difficult enough when there are the concrete things, like a funeral, to realize the meaning of someone close to you passing. Without that immediacy you have to process it all intellectually. Not so easy.

Carol, this is the best way to work through the loss. Maybe as you process the loss of your sister, writing to the blog will help you through it.

My condolences to all in your family, too, who are dealing with this sadness.

Asha's art work is beautiful.

With much care,
Joanne

Jill said...

To all of Asha's family,

I am deeply saddened by your loss. Carol, meeting Asha, you and Yacov was such a wonderful experience and has always held a special place in my heart. You are in my thoughts.

Jill

paula said...

Carol and Mica,
We are so very sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a sister is very hard. We hope your memories of Asha will help you get through this time. You are in our thoughts.
Paula and Kent

judy monosson said...

Very sorry to hear about Asha. Please know that my thoughs are with all of you

marilyn price said...

Dear Carol,

I read about Asha and your lovely tribute and words of having a sister however distance but close in the best ways. I am sending you an e-hug and hopes for healing and good memories (although you seem to have that part). My big brother died in March of last year at the age of 65 and the days go by with sweet memories and deep missing. What is it about that sibling thing?

Be well and safe. Love from Evanston Illinois from Marilyn (who married in!)

Rona said...

Dear Carol, Mica, and Debbie

I just want you to know that you have not left my thoughts since I first heard about Asha's passing.

I remember her as a beautiful and happy little girl named Susan living in the big house in Newton. That was a long time ago, and that is how I shall remember her.

May your own pleasant memories carry you through this difficult time.

My deepest condolences and love,

Rona

mara said...

Dear Carol and all of Asha's family,

our heartfelt condolences and love during this difficult time. may the good memories stay with you and help ease the pain.
Love,
mara monosson freedland mirsky
and rich mirsky

Anonymous said...

Carol,
It's been too many years since we were together at your home in Newton and I only vaguely remember your sister, but I want to express my condolences to you and the rest of your family at this time. My thoughts are with you.
Donna

Grimmtooth said...

Carol,

She was a good friend to me and my wife. I first met Asha almost 20 (!) years ago. She charmed the socks off of me. Such a vital, amazing person! I've never met anyone else like her.

This is my second favorite Asha story.

My wife met her in person sometime later (although they already knew each other online). At some point, Asha drew Holly (my future bride) off to one side and warned her sternly about the consequences if she "hurt" me. My fierce protector! At least she passed away knowing that she had nothing to fear on that part.

I hope the next step in her journey is a good one. She is already missed.

My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Belinda said...

To all the family and Asha's worldwide following of friends, I would like to send my sincere and heartfelt condolences upon the loss to this world of such a remarkable person.

I never met Asha in the 'Real World', I only knew her online; through her gallery of art and her Sunday night *Asha Talks*. Asha IS an enormous and highly respected presence in the Amiga community and she will live on through her art and her numerous contributions.

Asha always made me feel welcome and comfortable, she always asked after my children, wanted to know what was happening with me over here in France and had SUCH a sense of humour! When I think of her, all I can do is smile, she used to make us all laugh on her chats! A funny story, serious computer discussion, then some funny pun or other; it was always great fun to listen to what she had to say, how she played the harmonies of the people surrounding her, and always brought out the BEST in those around. I'll miss being a part of that.

Thank you Asha for letting me know you, even the little bit that I did, I feel a richer person for the experience.

Sweet dreams and much love.
Belinda (aka Yo on AW.net)

JimS said...

Like some others, I only knew Asha from the online world. She was the spirit behind those Sunday Night Chats. My sympathies to her family and friends.

Ken Wilde said...

I first got to know Asha in the Amiga Fidonet days. I lost track of her when the BBS days ended & the internet, as we now know it, became a reality. Asha's name came up in a mailing list & when I asked about her, I was given the information for her Sunday night chat group. I'd never done irc at that
point, but I wanted to chat with her again so with some help I set up a client & joined her chat. First time chat & I was lost, but Asha & the others made sure I was welcome & got the help I needed. I joined her chat every Sunday after, can't remember how many years I've been chatting with her.

She was a beautiful person & I will miss her so much. We will continue to meet every Sunday, it won't ever be the same without her, but I know she would want the chat to continue.

My deepest condolences to you & Mica.

Judy Zimmerman said...

Dearest Carol,
I was shocked to know about the loss of your dear sister , Asha. I was extremely moved by your beautiful "farewell". I gather that it was also very shocking to you, as you mention that you weren't aware that she was so sick.
I feel your sorrow and want to express my deepest sympathy and condolences.
May you be spared further sorrow and may yor beautiful memories comfort you at this difficult time.

May you be comforted among the mourners of Jerusalem.

Love, Judy

NomadOfNorad said...

I was a long-term member of the Team Amiga mailing list, on which she posted, and was also a long term participant in the Ashachats, every Sunday night at 9pm Eastern on IRC. It was like family for us there on AshaChat... and, I guess, it still is, for those of us that are left.

We're still doing the AshaChats, for the time being anyway, in her memory. I suppose we'll probably turn it into the Asha Memorial Chat, or something.

She will be missed. She was a wonderful, gentle, and loving person.

Caroled said...

Thank you all for your kind words and condolences.

Asha belonged to Painter forum called Painter's World.... on yahoo groups... I notified them of Asha's passing and here is a collection of the of the condolences from the group. Condolences

carol

Chuck said...

I knew Asha for many years during the time she lived on the Russian River. The news of here death just reached me yesterday. I haven't talked to her, but have thought of her often over the past few years. This comes as a complete shock to me. Thanks for posting your piece.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear of your sisters passing. You'll be in thoughts and prayers.
take care.
Jo

desiv said...

Sorry to hear about that.
I actually wrote a Solitaire game for her years ago for the Amiga. I was looking for a project and chatted with her on Fidonet and one thing led to another. She's probably the only person to ever play that version :-). I never met her in person, but we emailed several years ago, and she told me that she still played that game from time to time. That always made me smile to know that.

She is and will be missed.

Desi

Ron Watkins said...

Wow, I was thinking about old times, and did a search on Asha's name to see what she was up to, these days. What a shock. I can't believe she's gone. Even worse, three years ago, and I didn't have any idea.

I get the impression that you didn't have much contact with her, but she had an enormous number of friends in the Monte Rio/Sebastopol area, in the years when she lived there. She always had these absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving parties, with lots of booze and a fair bit of pot, jammed with tons of interesting people. Going into her house felt more like home than my home did, at the time. Not that mine was terrible, it was just that Asha's place had a really unique and relaxed atmosphere, not like anywhere else I've ever been. She attracted warm, happy, funny, and smart people, and her Thanksgiving parties were a high point in the year for me. I gather from the other comments that Asha Develder was a taken name, not a given one, but I never knew her as anyone else.

It's been just about twenty years since I last saw her, and I still cried when I saw this. I wish I'd known sooner.

Mica, if you happen to read this, you might remember me: I'm Ron Watkins, the tall, nerdy guy with brown hair and glasses, a little older than you were, I think. I'm the one who ribbed you that once with "I can think of at least one thing!" That will make sense if you remember, and will hopefully be completely opaque if you don't.

I hope you and your son are doing well, and any more family you've accumulated along the way. You have my very best wishes.

-- Ron

June Wynn said...

Dear Carol,

I am SO sorry to hear this news. i guess i'm getting this message a tad late, but want to let you know that her class from Newton High '65 will all miss her greatly and there will be a tribute to her on our 50th reunion next year. Personally, i am very saddened and wish you peace in the knowledge that she continues her fabulous journey and was deeply loved by so many! <3 june wynn [june@glowie.com]

June Wynn said...

hi mica, i knew your mom way back in the 60's. she was in my newton high school class of '65. we called her SAM back then. :) she always brought a smile to everyone's face! She will be missed. so sorry for your loss. Know that she is still on her journey! <3 We will do a tribute to her at our 50th reunion next year. (((hugs)))
june boisseau wynn

drenkar said...

I was going through old email recently transferred to a new desktop pc, and found some emails between Asha and me written in '97. I then did a Google search for her. I found this.

I am so very sorry for all in her family and all her closest friends. What a big heart she had! I can't say how sorry I am to hear this "news", albeit late. Thank you, Carol, for writing your beautiful words and for keeping them up on your blog for everyone.

I visited Asha at her house in '97 and even sold her my last Amiga when I made my switch to pc.

Peace to you, Asha, and to all your family and friends.